Valentines Day Funny Quotes for Friends and Colleagues

Valentine’s day is just few days away and if you want to tease your single friends or to make them smile, send them valentines day funny quotes. Here we are going to share collection of hilarious messages making fun of February 14. Earlier we shared some anti valentine’s quotes that were emotional but the one we are going to share here will be full of humor. No one can deny the importance of friends in life and that’s why their smile is important for every one. So, don’t let your friend lonely on this lovely day and share funny valentines quotes with him/her to let him know that you didn’t forget your best buddy.

Valentines Day Funny Quotes

Valentines Day Funny Quotes

Look below and you will find best valentine’s day quotes funny messages that you can share with your male and female friends and colleagues. You can share these witty valentines text through SMS, Facebook and Whatsapp status.

Happy Valentines Day Instagram Captions

  • I bought candles, some Barry White music and a few bottles of chilled champagne. That should keep your parents busy all night, so we can really enjoy this Valentine.
  • Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
  • Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
  • Valentine’s Day was a traditional feast to commemorate several different men named Valentine who were all killed for their faith. So… let’s use this as an excuse to get busy!
  • Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
  • Because never in my life have I ever been picked when there was another alternative.
  • This Valentine’s Day I just want to say “please don’t ever leave me”. My healthcare plan doesn’t cover broken hearts.
  • To comfort your sister if she’s alone during Valentine’s day, you may say: 80 percent of my socks are single but I have never seen them crying because of that.
  • Every person’s heart has pain, but they express that pain in different ways. Some will hide it in their eyes, while others will hide it in their smile.
  • I wanted to woo you this Valentine’s Day and sing you a beautiful song. But then I heard myself sing and decided that I’d do better if we just made out a lot.
  • Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.
  • Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
  • Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
  • I want us to be like Barack and Michelle. Or Brad and Angelina. I want us to be together like Kim and those rich guys.
  • I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  • Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
  • Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t.

Valentines Day Funny Puns For Everyone You Love

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, blah blah… I suck at poetry, but I love you.
  • A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.
  • I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
  • I told my parents I was in love with a stripper. Now I want you to meet my parents, sugar. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
  • I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  • For this Valentine’s Day, let’s role play to get into the spirit of love: I’m going to dress up like a naked baby angel and use a bow to shoot you with heart tipped arrows. Or, I could just give you candy and take you to dinner. What do you say?
  • Valentine’s Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone’s like ‘Oh, happy Valentine’s Day!’ I even got a Valentine’s Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
  • Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
  • Of all my lovers, you’re the probably the eighth best. You made the top ten! Happy Valentine’s!
  • Remember your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.
  • Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.
  • Every day I wake up and I think of you. Thanks for the morning inspiration, honey. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.
  • Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.
  • Remember when I said I thought your mother was sexy? No? Me neither… Happy Valentine’s!
  • Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
  • If you‘re alone during Valentine’s day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred pounds.
  • Scientists believe that a large explosion called the Big Bang was the start of our universe. Tonight, let’s devote ourselves to science.
  • It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
  • Love is a game that two can play and both win.
  • I want the perfect Valentine’s Day gift. Is it chocolates? Flowers? Dinners? No. The perfect Valentine’s Day gift is Ryan Gosling. But if he’s not available, I’ll take you.
  • Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.
  • True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
  • Some people say the world today doesn’t have enough love. This Valentine’s Day, let’s make some.
  • Falling in love is so hard on the knees.

Pick the best valentines day funny quotes from the special collection shared above and send it to your dear ones.

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