[35+] Funny Mothers Day Quotes from Daughter and Son

• If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?
• Happy Mother’s Day to the woman who fed me as a baby and through most of my twenties.
• A mother who is really a mother is never free.
• My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
• I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.
• Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
• I remember I was a kid and the scariest words were “I’ll tell your mom.
• When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
• Mom, thanks for always being slightly less disappointed in me than Dad is.
• I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.
• Children are a great comfort in your old age – and they help you reach it faster, too.
• Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.
• Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.
• Don’t forget to pick up a bottle of wine for your Mom for Mother’s Day. After all, you’re one of the reasons she drinks.
• I love how we don’t even need to say out loud that I’m your favorite child.

Happy Mother’s Day Quotes from Daughter in Law

• My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
• Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.
• I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
• The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.
• A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
• Kids are definitely the boss of you … Anyone who will barge into the room while you are on the commode is the boss of you. And when you explain to them that you’re on the commode and that they should leave but they don’t? That’s a high-level boss.
• My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
• There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
• A man’s work is from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done.
• All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
• If a woman speaks and no one is listening, her name is probably Mom
• I can’t believe you’re going to a therapist. You know, they’re totally going to ask you about me … They always want to ask about your mother. It’s OK. Say whatever you want. But make sure you start with “my mother’s very hot.”
• Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, ‘Dad’s trophy wife day.

Quotes for Mother’s Day from Son

• It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
• My mother’s five-foot-two, and I’ll be honest with you – she’s the only person I’m scared of.
• Mom, you brought me into a world where love can be expressed online.
• My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
• Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
• Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.
• My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
• As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
• All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.